No Toilet Drinking Allowed

Officials in Chandler, Arizona, said features of their new City Hall include motion-detector light shutoffs and signs warning people not to drink from toilets. City officials said the new building, which aims to be environmentally friendly, includes warning signs not to drink from toilets and urinals because the water is recycled from the facility’s cooling system. A city spokesman said the signs were posted in accordance with regulations because officials decided not to color the recycled water.

Student Out Of The Saddle

A Haverford, Philadelphia, student who gained media attention for riding a horse to school every day has been asked to find another means of transport. The Haverford School board asked Roby Burch, 16, to get to school in a more conventional way due to liability issues. Burch says he wasn’t too upset since Jet the horse has been hurting his legs on the asphalt. For now, Burch is getting a ride from his parents. The 16-year-old hopes to get his driver’s license in February.

Ratty Home To Be Razed

A Pulaski Township, Pennsylvania, home will be demolished because it is so overrun with rats that they measure about a foot deep in spots. Officials said the home has been a problem in the neighborhood for about a year. Neighbors called the township last week to complain when they saw rats coming out of the home. Officials said the home’s owner used to breed dogs there. The woman, who is bankrupt, moved out in August and her husband is in a nursing home. An exterminator hopes to kill about 95% of the rats before the home is demolished today. Officials will erect a perimeter around the home to try and prevent any rats that survive from going into neighboring homes.

Robber Found At The Alibi

It didn’t take police long to locate a Lewiston, Idaho, man suspected in robbing a hotel – he was next door at The Alibi bar. Donald Mosley Jr. was arrested less than 15 minutes after he walked into the Cedar Inn and demanded cash from the desk clerk late Wednesday. Police found Mosley at The Alibi, a bar located next to the hotel. Mosley was booked early Thursday and faces possible felony robbery charges.

Robber Found At The Alibi

It didn’t take police long to locate a Lewiston, Idaho, man suspected in robbing a hotel – he was next door at The Alibi bar. Donald Mosley Jr. was arrested less than 15 minutes after he walked into the Cedar Inn and demanded cash from the desk clerk late Wednesday. Police found Mosley at The Alibi, a bar located next to the hotel. Mosley was booked early Thursday and faces possible felony robbery charges.

Gunshot Victim Goes Home For Lunch

Connecticut police said a man who heard gunshots while exiting a deli went home and ate his sandwich before seeking treatment for shots to the groin and thigh. Investigators said Miguel Soto III, 25, heard three gunshots when he left the deli Tuesday afternoon in New Haven and continued home to enjoy his lunch. Police said Soto asked his father to take him to the hospital after he had finished his sandwich. He was treated for non-life-threatening gunshot wounds. Investigators are seeking two men in connection with the incident.

Teacher Fired For Napping In Class

An Ohio a high school teacher has been fired for napping during class. The Perkins Schools Board of Education voted Wednesday to fire Perkins High School teacher Carol Smith, 71, after a hearing officer found her conduct “totally unprofessional, inappropriate, unsafe, outrageous, flagrant and persistent and threatened the safety, security and welfare of the students.” Smith had been suspended without pay since April after allegations arose that she discussed pornographic magazines with her freshman history class. Students told investigators that Smith often arrived late and slept during a study hall period. Officials found Smith’s discussion of Playboy and Playgirl magazines during a discussion about yellow journalism was not grounds for dismissal – but said sleeping during class and arriving late left the students unsupervised and created safety concerns.

Steelers Van Used To Serve Warrants

A pair of Connellsville, Pennsylvania, constables came up with a unique way to serve warrants. Constables Hubie Coleman and Albert “Rocky” Younkin have been having trouble getting people to exit their homes to receive arrest warrants because their vehicle resembles a police cruiser. So they talked the owners of a car dealership into letting them borrow a for-sale Pittsburgh Steelers van Wednesday, which proved effective in luring people out of their homes. Coleman says they drove up to houses and honked the horn. People came out because they were curious about the van, then got served. They also play the team’s fight song when transporting people to a judge. The men only had the Steelers van for one day, but they are looking for other unique ways to get their job done.

Job Applicant Lands Gig – In Jail

Talk about a Darwin winner! Police in Homestead, Pennsylvania, said a man charged with robbing someone outside a Subway left a job application he filled out just before the heist. The unidentified man committed the robbery Sunday evening. He had applied for a job in the Subway and then committed an armed robbery outside the store. His application was used to arrest the idiot.

Cat Toast

Investigators think a cat who liked to sleep on top of a toaster oven started a kitchen fire in Port Townsend, Washington, by stepping on the toaster lever. Lois Lund said she isn’t mad at her cat, Oasis, because he liked to sleep on the toaster to avoid the dog. Lund heard the fire early Sunday and put it out with a garden hose. No one was hurt in the fire.

Honey, I Think There’s A Naked Man In The Closet

A Corvallis, Oregon, couple woke up Monday to find a naked stranger in their closet. Police said 21-year-old Nicholas Buekea snuck out of a friend’s basement apartment, climbed around a locked door to access a staircase and made his way to a third-floor apartment. The unidentified occupants of the apartment found items out of place and a naked Buekea in the closet. He struggled with one of the residents and then fled. Police said a group of people found Buekea and gave him a pair of shorts. Then the police found him and took him to a local hospital for an evaluation.

Looking For Your Drugs? Don’t Call ‘Crime Stoppers’

A New York man looking to buy drugs misdialed and got the sheriff’s “Crime Stoppers” unit instead. Erie County Sheriff’s Detective Alan Rozansky said he got a call Monday and answered with his usual “Crime Stoppers.” The caller apparently didn’t hear the greeting and told Rozansky he was looking “to score” some drugs. The cop played along and arranged a meeting with undercover officers, who didn’t find the caller but did arrest a 35-year-old woman trying to sell prescription painkillers to a Buffalo man. The careless caller is off the hook for now.

Man Arrested After Throwing Oranges At Planes

An Arizona man arrested for hurling oranges at parked planes at a municipal airport told Mesa police he had been sniffing spray paint before his stunt. Police said yesterday they responded to a disturbance call at Falcon Field and found 33-year-old Brian Henio sitting in an orange grove next to the airport, holding a green jug to his lips. Officers say they recognized the smell of spray paint and noticed paint on Henio’s upper lip. Henio admitted throwing oranges at the planes, but said he didn’t know why it was such a big deal. Henio was booked on suspicion of possession of a vapor releasing substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and trespassing.

Dog Euthanasia Survivor Gets New Home

The Detroit Rottweiler that survived a euthanasia attempt has found a new home and renewed medical treatment. Matt Olivarez said Mia, the 11-year-old dog that made headlines last month after she recovered from euthanasia treatment at a veterinary office, is moving to the country with friends who asked to remain anonymous. Olivarez said donations have flooded in from around the country to pay for Mia’s veterinary treatment for conditions including a ruptured disc in her spine, arthritis in her hips and spine, and partial paralysis in her right rear leg. Olivarez’s mother said Mia has even regained her appetite for roast chicken and rice.

1952 Porsche Sold In United States

An Oklahoma man who spent 17 years and up to $100,000 restoring a Porsche he bought for $800 said the car has been named the oldest Porsche sold in the United States. Robert Wilson of Oklahoma City found the 1952 Porsche Cabriolet convertible in 1987 while he was looking through a scrap yard for a Volvo part. He convinced the owner to sell and deliver the car for $800. Porsche Cars North America announced Wilson’s vehicle was the winner of its search for the oldest Porsche sold in the United States. The search was part of Porsche’s 60th anniversary festivities.

Woman Charged For Allegedly Flashing Cop

Police in Fort Pierce, Florida, said a woman was charged with indecent exposure for allegedly flashing her breast at a police officer. Investigators said a patrol officer spotted Heather Angel Fiore, 31, allegedly messing with a lock on the window of a closed meat market in Fort Pierce Saturday night. The arrest report said Fiore repeatedly told the officer she was planning to flash him and he warned her it would lead to more charges. When she exposed one of her breasts, Fiore was placed under arrest and charged with indecent exposure. She later told investigators she thought the display might keep her out of trouble.

Family Gets Car Returned After 20 Years

A Pittsburgh man surprised his father with a Pontiac GTO he sold nearly 20 years ago. Brian Laney said he wanted to purchase a GTO and was searching online five months ago when he spotted the vehicle his father bought for $6,000 in 1970 and later sold. Laney bought the car for $20,000 and surprised his father, Walter, with the discovery.

Dali Print Found In Goodwill

A Colorado Goodwill store is auctioning off a purported print of Salvador Dali’s “The Discovery of America by Christopher Columbus.” The Grand Junction resale store said the print, which is signed and numbered 168 of 300, was spotted by a customer at the store who often points out valuable merchandise to management. Store workers don’t know where the print came from. The store isn’t going to spend the money to hire experts to authenticate the work, but will let people bid for it and determine its value on their own.

Money-Eating Dog

The president of Washington State’s West Seattle Soccer Club said his dog took an envelope of fundraising money and ate $300 in cash and $900 in checks. Bill Fry said he found a $50 bill on his deck when he returned home and initially thought it was a lucky find, until he discovered an envelope containing $600 in cash and $900 in checks was missing from his dresser. Fry said he found about $300 buried in his yard and noticed scraps of money in his dog’s poop. Fry said he’ll replace the swallowed cash and he’s hoping soccer parents who wrote the checks will send replacements.

Pot Payment Offer Lands Man In Jail

A North Dakota man has been sentenced to six days in jail after offering pot for payment in a bar. Richard Hanley Jr. pleaded guilty to misdemeanor marijuana possession and disorderly conduct. Authorities say he bumped into a server at a Bismarck bar. Drinks were spilled and another employee demanded payment. Prosecutors say Hanley offered to make good on the booze with a bag of pot.

Flying Deer Crashes Into And Out Of Car‎

A New Ulm, Minnesota, family heading for pizza on the first day of hunting season bagged a deer instead when a small buck flew through their windshield and out the rear window. Chris and Susan Blake and their 17-year-old daughter, Olivia, were injured in the Saturday crash. The deer struck Chris in the face and glanced off Sue before striking Olivia in the back seat. The animal’s momentum sent it through the rear window. Chris said he broke numerous bones in his face while his daughter broke her nose and fractured her cheek. Susan had scratches to her face and a lot of bruising. The deer died.

‘South Park’ Jihadist Pleads Guilty

A 20-year-old Virginia man pleaded guilty Wednesday to threatening writers of “South Park” as part of his efforts to support jihad. Zachary Adam Chesser pleaded guilty to communicating threats against the “South Park” writers, soliciting violent jihadists to desensitize law enforcement to suspicious packages, and attempting to provide material support to al-Shabaab, a foreign terrorist organization. He faces up to 30 years in prison when he is sentenced February 25th.

Kid Takes City Truck On Joyride

Police in Marion, South Carolina, say a 10-year-old boy took a city work truck used by the fire department on a joy ride through town. Officials said fire crews were busy unloading a white pickup truck when the boy jumped in and took off. The kid “was going up and down the street and headed home.” Along the way, he hit a power pole, but was not hurt. He was eventually stopped by his mother not far from their home. The boy was taken to juvenile hall and later released.

Drive-Thru Law

Legal services at one Manchester, Connecticut, firm can be as easy driving up to a window and never getting out of the car. The Kocian Law Group has opened a drive-thru office in a building that once housed a former Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant. Attorney Nick Kocian said clients can use the drive-thru to drop off and pick up documents. A paralegal works the window, handing out documents and answering questions. Consultations and meetings with lawyers will still be scheduled for inside the office.

Thoughtful Robber

Police say an armed robber gave back everything he stole from a homeless man after learning he lived at a shelter. Larry Sanderson, 22, was outside the York Rescue Mission on Wednesday night when a man flashed the handle of a revolver and told him to empty his pockets. Sanderson turned over his wallet, cell phone, MP3 player and cigarettes. When the robber asked Sanderson if that was all he had, Sanderson explained he lived at the shelter. Police say the robber replied, “I can respect that,” and then returned the man’s property and walked away.

World’s Largest Pumpkin

Guinness World Records has confirmed that a massive pumpkin grown in Wisconsin is officially the world’s heaviest. The gourd grown this year by Chris Stevens of New Richmond tips the scales at 1,810.5 pounds, 85 pounds heavier than the previous record, a 1,725-pound pumpkin grown last year in Ohio. Stevens’ pumpkin has a circumference of 186.5 inches, or more than 15 feet. When turned on its side, the pumpkin is more than waist-high. Stevens said his secret is a precise mixture of sunshine, rain, cow manure, fish emulsion and seaweed.

Victim Beats Robber With His Own Fake Gun

A man using a fake gun in a San Fernando Valley stickup was beaten to a pulp with the prop weapon when the would-be victim took it from him. Police said the attempted robbery suspect was whacked so bad he had to be hospitalized.

Frog Veggies

An Eaton County, Michigan, couple claims they found a frozen frog in a package of frozen vegetables. Marty Hoffman said she freaked when she found the amphibian October 13th as she was preparing veggies for the family dog, who needs a special diet because of allergies. After photographing the frog and sealing up the vegetable bag, Marty’s husband, Tim, called the Detroit office of the FDA, but received no response. So he called the local newspaper to report the amphibian find. The paper contacted the store, Meijer, who apologized and issued a recall. The Hoffmans say they don’t want any money, they just want to make other veggie lovers aware.

Purdue To Host Quidditch Tournament

Several schools are sending teams to a “Harry Potter” inspired sporting tournament at Indiana’s Purdue University. Organizers of the Quidditch tournament said teams from Purdue, Ohio State University, Loyola University Chicago, Illinois State University, Ball State University, Bowling Green State University, Carthage College, Miami of Ohio and Transylvania University are expected to participate in the Sunday event. The rugby-like game was invented by J.K. Rowling for the “Harry Potter” novels. In the books, the game involves flying on brooms, but the real-world players will be riding their brooms on the ground.

 

Woman Drives Around With Dead Woman For Months

A California woman who befriended a homeless woman and let her sleep in her car told police she didn’t know where to turn when the woman died unexpectedly – so she drive the body around for months along with a box of baking soda to cover up the smell. Officers with the Costa Mesa police found the unidentified body Monday after getting a call about a car blocking a driveway. When officers arrived, they noticed a nasty odor and saw a leg poking out from behind a blanket and some clothes. The partially mummified body consisted mostly of skin and bones and weighed about 30 pounds. An autopsy showed no signs of foul play but police are still investigating the car’s driver. The woman had been dead for 10 months when police found her.

World’s Largest Toast Mosaic Created

A British woman has set a world record by creating a mosaic of her mother-in-law’s face from 9,852 pieces of toast. Laura Hadland enlisted the help of 40 friends to create the mosaic from 600 loaves of bread as a birthday surprise for Sandra Whitfield. Hadland said her team used nine toasters to color the bread various shades of brown before arranging them into the 32-foot-8-inch by 42-foot-3-inch mosaic. The mosaic has been officially recognized as the world’s largest by Guinness World Records.

Finalists Announced For Coveted Goulet Mustache Awards

The American Mustache Institute has announced the 19 finalists for the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. The “Goulet” recognizes the person who best represents or contributes to the Mustached American community over the past year. This year the finalists include former NBA star and current Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson, North Dakota Governor and U.S. Senate hopeful John Hoeven, Minnesota Twins pitcher Carl Pavano, University of Texas at El Paso mascot “Paydirt Pete,” documentary director Morgan Spurlock and media personality Pat O’Brien. There are also a handful of “regular” Americans – like Brian Sheets, a Kissimmee, Florida-area firefighter and founder of Firemen with Mustaches on Facebook. You can cast your vote at www.americanmustacheinstitute.org.

 

Tax Cheat Ordered To Give Free Pizza To Homeless

A New York state pizzeria owner convicted of sales tax fraud has been ordered to provide free weekly pizza to the homeless. Joseph Jacobbi, operator of Casa-Di-Pizza, was ordered to pay $25,000 of the $104,295.31 he withheld from the state between March 2004 and the end of May 2008 and was ordered to provide 12 sheet pizzas every Tuesday to the Buffalo City Mission for 52 weeks. The judge left the choice of toppings up to Jacobbi. Jacobbi was also ordered to make 12 monthly restitution payments of $4,400 each to the state to help cover his tax bill.

Floating Pot

A member of the Clean River Project said he discovered a trash bag full of marijuana while cleaning the Shawsheen River in Lawrence, Massachusetts. Rocky Morrison, a six-year veteran of the project, said he was cleaning the river Sunday afternoon when he discovered the trash bag of pot floating on the surface. Police estimated the street value of the marijuana at about $2,000.

Escaped Ape Attacks Police Car

A 300-pound chimpanzee that broke free from its chains has been captured after briefly wandering around a Kansas City, Missouri, neighborhood and smashing out the window of a police car. Police got a call about noon yesterday that a primate was on the loose a few miles from the Kansas City Zoo. Police said the ape was actually a pet that escaped from its chains. When efforts to shoot the animal, named Sueko, with a tranquilizer dart failed, the chimp climbed on a patrol car and struck the passenger-side window with its fist before running off. Sueko’s owner was eventually able to coax it into a cage. The owner was cited for having a dangerous animal within city limits.

Man Accused Of Robbing Same Bank 4 Times

Authorities have arrested a man believed to have robbed the same South Bend, Indiana, bank branch four times since late August. Federal prosecutors allege that 42-year-old William Easley robbed the 1st Source Bank on August 23rd, September 10th, October 5th and again last Wednesday, taking about $14,000 in all. Easley surrendered early Saturday. He was ordered jailed until a preliminary hearing tomorrow.

Denim Thief Leaves Wallet In Dressing Room

Police in Gallatin, Tennessee, say it wasn’t too difficult to find a man accused of walking out of a Walmart wearing stolen jeans. He left his old jeans – along with his wallet – in the dressing room. Police caught up with 20-year-old Dustin Matthew Marshall and a 19-year-old woman who was with him on Saturday night after the couple ducked out of a Longhorn Steakhouse without paying their bill. A search of their home turned up evidence of other crimes. Marshall and his companion were booked on charges of theft, burglary and other counts.

Moose On The Loose

A moose spotted running through Spokane, Washington, was chased by police, news crews and a herd of cows – and still got away. The moose was first spotted about 10 a.m. Saturday and police caught up to it near a school nearly an hour later. The animal was briefly cornered near a soccer complex, but it jumped into a nearby pasture, where it was chased by a herd of cows. The moose escaped into a satellite communications yard, where it charged and nearly struck a news camera. The animal made its escape by barreling back through the soccer complex, a neighborhood, and then a golf course. Authorities eventually lost track of the moose, who is still on the loose.

World’s Longest Cat Lives In Nevada

A cat from Reno, Nevada, has broken the Guinness world record for world’s longest domestic cat. The 5-year-old Maine Coon named Stewie was certified as the new record holder after measuring 48 1/2 inches from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail bone. That’s a little more than 4 feet long! The previous record was 48 inches.

The Poop Scoop Boat Doing Big Business

Salisbury, Massachusetts, has a new sewage pump-out boat, and its name is more than just clever – it’s also good advice. The vessel’s job is to travel from boat to boat and pump out onboard septic systems. The boat was paid for in part by a state environmental grant and will keep the harbor clean in the town near the New Hampshire border. Harbormaster Ray Pike says hundreds of names were suggested for the vessel before they settled on “Down Winder.” Other names suggested included Poo Bear, Pumpty Dumpty, Poop Sloop and Dung Dingy. The winning name was suggested by boater Richard Calderwood.

Wedding Venues Swamped On 10/10/10

Churches, wedding chapels, banquet halls and other wedding venues were swamped across the country on Sunday as couples seeking a perfect 10 rushed to tie the knot on a once-in-a-century milestone: 10/10/10. In Las Vegas – long a destination for weddings – one marriage license bureau extended its Sunday hours from 6 p.m. to midnight to accommodate the rush. Hotels and churches in New Hampshire’s Seacoast area were booked long before Sunday. Wedding businesses said Sunday was perhaps the most sought-after wedding date since 7/7/07, when the lucky number marked the calendar.

Pregnant Woman Denied Bathroom Sues Concert Hall

A woman who is 35 weeks pregnant is suing a New York City concert hall because the staff would not let her use the bathroom. Lindsay Ekizian says the building supervisor at the Hammerstein Ballroom told her, “There’s a bathroom at the end of the block,” as she left the show last October. Management didn’t care that Ekizian had a baby pressing on her bladder and was desperate to use the ladies’ room, her lawsuit said. By the time she made it to a nearby diner, it was too late. She blames Hammerstein management for the humiliation of wetting her pants.

Occupied Ambulance Stolen

Bond was set at $50,000 for a 27-year-old Chicago man accused of stealing an ambulance Saturday while two paramedics treated someone he apparently knew in the back. A Chicago Fire Department spokesman said Jimmy McCoy allegedly jumped into the ambulance and drove off with the emergency lights on. The paramedics radioed that their ambulance had been stolen with them inside. Prosecutors said at a hearing Sunday that McCoy seemed to think he was driving his diabetic friend to the hospital. McCoy only made it a few blocks before a fire truck blocked the road. Police surrounded the ambulance and McCoy was arrested.

Perfect 10 Babies

Babies born Sunday in Oklahoma and New York were timed by hospital staff as coming into the world at 10:10 a.m. on 10/10/10. Carrie Wolf gave birth to her son Charles in New York City. In Oklahoma, Noah Edward Prado-Ramirez was born to Army Sgt. Steven Ramirez and Tiffany Prado-Ramirez of Lawton. Unfortunately, neither baby weighed 10 pounds.

Monster Pumpkin

A Wisconsin man spent his summer nurturing a pumpkin, and the reward was an orange orb weighing a world record 1,810.5 pounds. Chris Stevens entered his prize pumpkin in the Stillwater, Minnesota, Harvest Fest last weekend. The previous heaviest pumpkin on record weighed 85 pounds less. First place was worth $2,000, plus another $1,000 for setting the Wisconsin record.

Obama Streaker Runs For $1 Million Prize

A 24-year-old streaker says he ran naked at President Barack Obama’s rally in Philadelphia in hopes of winning $1 million offered by a British billionaire. Juan Rodriguez was arrested after his stunt at an outdoor Democratic Party rally Sunday evening. British businessman Alki David promised the big cash prize to the first person who streaks in front of the president with his interactive reality TV channel and community website, Battlecam.com, written across his or her chest and shouting it six times within earshot of Obama. “This is the first time anybody has attempted it. I still don’t know if he was successful. If he has done it, I’ll pay him in cash,” David said.

‘Halloween’ Bones Really Human‎

A Florida couple thought they were buying a Halloween decoration at a yard sale, but it turns out they bought a real human skeleton. Judith and Mitchell Fletcher paid $8 for what they thought were a box of scary holiday decorations at a yard sale in Brandon. When they got the box home, they realized they had bought real bones and called police. Detectives took the bones to the medical examiner, who determined they came from a professionally prepared human anatomical skeleton, normally used in medical courses. Detectives are contacting colleges and universities who may be missing a skeleton. State law prohibits individuals from owning human skeletons, so the Fletchers won’t be getting the bones back.

Drunk Rescued After Chasing Goose Into River

Police in Wausau, Wisconsin, arrested an intoxicated man who plunged into the Wisconsin River while chasing a one-legged goose. The 40-year-old man took off his shirt and shoes Thursday afternoon and jumped into the frigid water. He was overcome by the cold water and had to be rescued by firefighters. He told officers he wanted to catch the bird and roast it. The man was arrested on an outstanding warrant for bail jumping.

Anyone See A Guy With Handcuffs?

A 26-year-old Washington man managed to escape from a Department of Corrections car while handcuffed. Longview police say Eric Mitchell Lair was arrested on October 1st on a felony warrant. He was cuffed behind his back, but still was able to open the door of the car that was taking him to jail. Police are still looking for him, and they plan on charging him with stealing their $29 handcuffs, a third-degree theft in the state of Washington.

Old-Timer Beats Wrench-Wielding Robber With Broomstick

A 75-year-old gas station employee used a broomstick to fight off a robber in Cave Junction, Oregon. Dan McLeod said he thought it was a joke when a masked man walked in early Wednesday and demanded cash. When the robber threatened to kill him, McLeod said he was scared. But when the robber pulled out his weapon – a small wrench – McLeod figured he could take him. He grabbed a broomstick and hit the man several times. Police are still looking for the suspect.

Woman Asks Officer If She’s Wanted

Police in suburban Cincinnati arrested a woman after she flagged down an officer and asked if there were any warrants out for her arrest. After Officer Dan Lyons informed 44-year-old Selma Elmore she did have an outstanding warrant, the woman ran off. The chase ended when Elmore pushed Lyons into a building, injuring his elbow. Other officers responding to a call for backup later apprehended the woman. Elmore, wanted for allegedly failing to pay a fine for a drug conviction, now faces a charge of resisting arrest. Lyons was told he may have suffered nerve damage in his elbow.

‘Scream’ Bandit Attempts Doughnut Shop Robbery

A man wearing a “Scream” mask tried to hold up a doughnut shop on New York’s Long Island. Nassau County police say the thief walked into a Dunkin’ Donuts in Farmingdale just before midnight last Tuesday brandishing a silver handgun and demanding money. An employee, washing trays, said he turned the water on the bandit, hitting the mask. The thief, clad all in black, fled empty-handed.

SWAT Team Descends On Sleeping Man

A massive force sent to nab a suspected burglar in a Montreal suburb found the man sleeping in the attic. Police arrested the 35-year-old suspect in Pointe Claire Saturday morning after receiving a call from someone who said he heard noises. Six police cars, an ambulance, and a special-weapons-and-tactics squad arrived around 6 a.m. After five hours, police went inside and found the man sleeping in the attic.

Twins Have First Children On Same Day

Two Florida twins have shared everything from their birth dates to the births of their first children on the same day last week. Alexandra Lima Pennington and Cristina Lima Rodriguez delivered their daughters, Olivia and Ava, respectively, about six hours apart Tuesday at Baptist Hospital of Miami. “Olivia weighed about a pound less at birth than her cousin, Ava. The sisters said the joint delivery day was simply a coincidence.

Bus Driver Does A Sully After Goose Crash

A passenger on a New York-bound bus says the driver reminded her of hero pilot “Sully” Sullenberger after the vehicle took a direct hit from a low-flying goose. Laetitia-Laure Brock said she knew nothing good was going to come from the flock of geese she saw heading toward the windshield of the double-decker bus as it traveled along the New Jersey turnpike Saturday. The windshield was broken by a bird, but driver Andre Sweeney kept his hands on the wheel despite having glass in his eyes and brought the megabus to a safe stop. Brock called it the roadway equivalent of Sullenberger’s dramatic ditching of an airliner in the Hudson River.

Mom Tries Bribe To Get Daughter Off Facebook

With social networking cutting into family and study time, one South Carolina mother is offering her daughter $300 to stay off Facebook for a month. Alyssa Rushing, a student at the University of South Carolina in Spartanburg, said she “didn’t know I was truly addicted.” Like many users, she was logging on several times a day and has around 900 “friends.” Rushing’s mother only has 40 Facebook friends.

Crazy Cat Ladies Busted

Two women have been cited for animal cruelty in Bennington, Vermont, after police found 77 cats living in two cars. Prosecutors are in the process of deciding whether to upgrade the civil citations to criminal charges against 54-year-old Regina Millard and 61-year-old Bertha Ryan, both of Troy, New York. Police say one of the cats was found dead in the trunk on Friday. Plates of food were inside and some of the cats had poo poo matted to their fur. Police said the women owned two of the cats and were apparently looking for homes for the rest.

The Great Pumpkin Washout

The owner of a farm in Newbury, Vermont, says drenching rains washed as many as 100,000 pumpkins into the Connecticut River. Margaret Gladstone of Newmont Farm says at least two people who plucked pumpkins from the river have sent her money for them. She said other farmers have offered to help her fill orders. The pumpkins had been picked and were waiting to be shipped when storms hit the area over the weekend. Gladstone estimated the total loss at 100,000 pumpkins. About 4,000 made it at least 25 miles downstream, where they washed up on a beach.

Robber Tells Store Clerks To Call 911

A Fullerton, California, man who held up a convenience store with a fake gun and then told employees to call 911 got his wish. Police say Ivine Love, 18, entered a 7-Eleven Tuesday afternoon and demanded money, telling the two clerks, “Give me the money, or otherwise call the police.” A clerk behind the counter had already triggered the silent robbery alarm, but complied with the man and called 911. The clerk then told the man to relax and have something to drink. So Love took an iced tea from the cooler and drank it while waiting for police. The clerks were still on the phone with 911 when police arrived and arrested Love.

Toronto Moves 10/10/10 Weddings

Toronto city officials said they are temporarily relocating city hall weddings to a local hotel due to high demand for Sunday, when the date will be 10/10/10. Officials said 19 Sunday weddings had been booked as of Tuesday, and they will be ready for more at a hotel near city hall, which will be closed Sunday. People with weddings booked for the date gave varying reasons for wanting the 10/10/10 date on their marriage certificates, including the luck associated with the number 10 in Chinese culture and the number’s meaning in binary code.

Bad Signs

A Florida business known for its controversial roadside signs is again drawing complaints with a sign inviting women to show their breasts. The sign outside of the Hercules Fence company office in Ocala, which comes amid Breast Cancer Awareness Month, has drawn several complaints about a message inviting women to show their breasts as they pass. Mike Garza, a manager at Hercules, said the company’s owner chooses a sign message every Friday and they remain up for a week. The company previously courted controversy with a 2005 sign during Violence Awareness Week reading: “Take your ex-wife out. One bullet oughta do it.” Protesters also gathered outside the office in 2007 when the sign read: “What has four wheels and flies? A dead cripple in a wheelchair.”

Man Jailed For Pot In Son’s Elmo Bag

A Pennsylvania man who hid 4 ounces of marijuana in the Elmo backpack his son took to school is spending the next six to 23 months in jail. Ronald Jacob Washington, who pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of children, drug possession, possession with intent to deliver and disorderly conduct, was sentenced Tuesday under a plea agreement that took one month off the maximum sentence possible. Police said Washington hid the marijuana in his son’s blue Elmo book bag and Uniontown Area School District officials discovered the drugs when he called the school on April 8th and said he needed to retrieve something from the backpack.

$5 Million Doughnuts?!

The Williamson County Republican Party in Texas said clerical errors resulted in a false finance report. Jon Jewett, the party’s volunteer treasurer, said the latest report included an entry for $5,272,010 spent at Round Rock Donuts in a single day, which the doughnut shop said would amount to 813,058 dozen doughnuts. The treasurer said the real amount spent at the shop was $13.99 and he doesn’t know where the erroneous figure came from. Jewett said another error, reporting $9,082,010 spent at an Applebee’s restaurant, was a result of the date being entered twice. He said only $60 was actually spent.

Good Samaritan Not So Good

Police in central Minnesota said a man who claimed he was assaulted and robbed while helping two people made the story up. Waite Park Police Chief Dave Bentrud said the 34-year-old man admitted to making the crime up, but it is unclear why. The man had originally said he stopped September 23rd to help two men changing a flat tire, but instead the two men hit him in the head with a tire iron and robbed him. Investigators found inconsistencies in the story earlier this week and said the man’s injuries were self-inflicted. The man faces a possible charge of filing a false police report.

Pizza Driver Falls For ‘Mom Is In The Shower’ Scam

A pizza driver made a delivery Tuesday to a house in Hoquiam, Washington, where a child answered the door, took the pizza, and said his mother was in the shower and would be out to pay soon. The driver waited about 30 minutes before calling police. Officers found the house was vacant and the kid apparently escaped with the pizza out the back door.

Leave His Pizza Alone!

A Florida man was charged with domestic battery after he attacked his brother for eating his leftover pizza. Port St. Lucie police said Frank Starling punched his younger brother in the face then threw him into a kitchen window, shattering the glass.

Gold Vending Machines Headed For U.S.

A German company specializing in vending machines for bars of gold says the devices are headed to Las Vegas and Florida. The makers of the Gold to Go machines said the devices accept cash and dispense 24-carat gold in 1-ounce bars and smaller bars of 10 grams, 5 grams and 1 gram. The devices also dispense international coins. The devices, which check gold prices six times per hour, are already available in 35 other locations, including the Middle East, Spain and Italy.

‘Tongue Patch’ May Help In Weight Loss

A California plastic surgeon says his surgically applied tongue patch makes eating uncomfortable, causing people to eat less and lose weight. Dr. Nikolas Chugay has started performing what he describes as a weight reduction procedure dubbed the Miracle Patch. “This patch contains no drugs or chemicals,” Chugay said. “It simply makes chewing solid food very difficult and painful, relegating the patient to a physician supervised liquid diet that fulfills all of the patient’s nutritional needs while at the same time minimizing caloric intake.” Chugay provided no data on the safety of the procedure or whether weight loss is sustained once the patch is removed and the person resumes eating.

Boulder Eases Penalties For Streakers

Nude runners in Boulder, Colorado, this Halloween may get a ticket, but that’s about it. If the Naked Pumpkin Run tradition is revived on the Pearl Street Mall this year, runners caught wearing nothing but pumpkins on their heads will get tickets for violating the city’s new public nudity law. A new city ordinance means the streakers will face a less severe penalty than in 2008. Some of those ticketed during the annual Halloween run in ‘08 faced the prospect of being classified as sex offenders because they were cited with indecent exposure under a state law. Most nude runners accepted plea deals for lesser penalties. Last Halloween, runners covered up to avoid trouble. This year, naked runners face a fine up to $1,000 and/or 90 days in jail – but no mandatory registration as a sex offender.

Grandma Offers Sandwich To Get Out Of DUI

A police officer in Ocala, Florida, says a 65-year-old grandmother tried to avoid a DUI arrest by offering to make him a grilled cheese sandwich. Elsie Wright O’Conner’s ploy didn’t work. She was arrested Thursday night and charged with driving under the influence. Deputy Calvin Batts said he responded to a call about an erratic driver and pulled O’Conner over. He said he smelled alcohol on her breath and found two Skyy vodka bottles in her Cadillac SUV, one empty and one half-full. O’Conner failed a field sobriety test. At the jail, her blood-alcohol level tested at more than three times the legal limit of 0.08.

Liquor Gator

A pet alligator has been seized from a liquor store on New York’s Long Island. The Suffolk County Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals says the 3-foot-long, illegally kept alligator was removed Wednesday from Alpine Wines and Liquors in Wading River. Authorities say two employees of the store were issued tickets for possession of an illegal animal. The gator will be sent to a sanctuary out of state. The store’s proprietor said an employee had asked her to take care of it while he was apartment hunting and that she believed the animal was a monitor lizard, not an alligator.

Something Fishy Going On Here

A North Carolina trout farmer thought something fishy was going on when one of her ponds wasn’t fishy enough. Sunburst Trout Farm owner Sally Eason and her husband noticed Thursday that the pond had virtually no fish in it after thieves had made off with 600 pounds of trout. Eason says the thieves baited the water so the fish would come to the surface, scooped up the fish and dumped them into a getaway car. Eason says she told local fish markets to be on the lookout for anyone trying to unload a huge amount of fish.

A Clean Getaway Thanks To Shower

Thieves in Pinal County, Arizona, made a clean getaway in two recent burglaries after they entered homes in Eloy, made a mess, stole several items, and then took showers before leaving. The first robbery, on September 20th, occurred when a homeowner confronted two men trying to steal food and water about 65 miles south of Phoenix. The bad guys got away. On Tuesday morning, officers responded to another Eloy residence and were told by the homeowner that the thieves stole a knife and food before taking a shower and leaving. No arrests have been made.

 

Man Denies Whacking Sister At Wedding Reception

A 31-year-old Three Forks, Montana, man accused of hitting his pregnant sister in the mouth with a wrench during her wedding reception has pleaded not guilty. David Sicotte was in court Wednesday on charges of assault with a weapon, a felony, and disorderly conduct. Prosecutors said he arrived at the reception uninvited on August 27th and pushed his sister’s new mother-in-law to the ground before attacking his sibling with the wrench. The bride told police she slapped her intoxicated brother and he responded by hitting her in the mouth with the wrench.

Inmate Loses Clothes During Attempted Escape

A Phoenix inmate was left wearing nothing but pink socks after scaling five fences in an escape attempt before he was captured. The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office says 24-year-old Clayton Thornburg suffered cuts on parts of his body because some of the Durango Jail’s fences are 15 feet high and topped with razor wire. Jail officials said the razor wire had stripped away Thornburg’s jail uniform and pink underwear by the time he reached the last fence Thursday morning. He was treated at a hospital before being hauled back to jail. Authorities said Thornburg likely will face an additional felony charge of escape, which can add up to five years to an inmate’s sentence. Thornburg was in jail for an extensive number of property crime charges.

Gas-Mask Bra Available Online

A Chicago doctor said her invention, an “Emergency Bra” that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks, is now available for purchase online. Dr. Elena Bodnar, who won the Ig Nobel prize last year at Harvard University for her unusual but useful invention, said the emergency bra is available for $29.95 at ebbra.com. “Right now it’s available just in B and C cup sizes and just in what I call ‘original red,’” she said. “But in two months, we will be selling it in classic black and white as well.” Bodnar is currently working on a dress shirt for men that can be converted into an emergency gas mask.

Phone Call Leads To Husband’s Arrest

New York State Police said a traffic stop involving a woman using a cell phone while driving led to the arrest of her husband on an 8-year-old warrant. A trooper pulled the woman over last week in Albany for the cell phone violation. She told the officer she was calling her husband to say she would be late for dinner. A routine vehicle check discovered the woman’s husband, vehicle owner Graig Arcuri was wanted in Florida on a third-degree grand larceny charge. The trooper issued a ticket to the woman and then arrested her husband at the couple’s planned meeting place.

Drunk Leading The Drunk

Police in Clawson, Michigan, said a 40-year-old man faces drunk driving charges after he drove an intoxicated woman to the police station. Police said Donald Chamberlain drove his neighbor to the station Monday to answer questions about an assault involving her husband the previous day. Cops said the woman left the station with Chamberlain after telling officers she was too drunk to answer questions. A patrol officer stopped the vehicle for having a cracked windshield. Police said Chamberlain’s blood-alcohol level was 0.13%; Michigan’s legal limit is 0.08%. He was arrested and the woman was treated at a hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Empty ATM Stolen

Police in Lexington, Kentucky, say someone is in for a letdown after an empty ATM was stolen from an apartment complex. A police spokeswoman said the ATM was in need of service and didn’t contain any money.

Drinking Online

Rather than buying someone a drink at the next table, you will soon be able to buy someone a drink across the country. A new service called Bartab allows users to choose a participating bar and send a drink to a friend through Facebook. The friend can claim the drink at the bar with a text-message coupon within three months. It costs the sender and recipient a buck apiece. Right now Bartab is only available in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York, but it will add 17 more markets in the next few months.

Naked Cowboy To Run For President

Well, we’ve heard it all now. After a short-lived run for mayor of New York last year, the famous Times Square Naked Cowboy has announced his candidacy for U.S. president in the 2012 election. Calling himself “a testament to America’s promise of individual liberty” and “an American success story,” Robert Burck told TMZ he plans to run on a strong conservative platform of fiscal responsibility, anti-immigration, and limited government. “Obama’s going down,” Burck said. The Naked Cowboy put on some clothes and cut off his long locks before making his announcement. He wrapped up his statement with, “I’m going to blow your minds.” We think he already has.

Nude Burglar

Authorities in Westminster, California, are searching for a burglary suspect found nude under a bed by a homeowner. Police said the suspect repeatedly apologized and put on his pants after he was discovered early Saturday. The man told the homeowner he was on drugs and ran from the house shirtless and wearing khaki pants. The homeowner told police he discovered the stranger when he heard “rustling sounds” coming from under the bed. Police determined the suspect got into the house by using a ladder found in a yard to climb through a second-story window.

Shoplifter Inspired By TV

Police in Skokie, Illinois, said a Nordstrom employee accused of stealing more than $30,000 in merchandise from the upscale store told them TV helped him hatch the plot. Police said Carlo Settecase was working as an overnight switchboard operator at the department store when he was caught on camera September 5th putting $30,000 worth of items into a mail tote and placing it in the mail room. He then took the tote home the following day. Police said Settecase told officers his crimes were inspired by the “The Sopranos,” “Dexter” and “Breaking Bad,” because the characters on those shows evaded capture.

 

R2-D2 Phone

Motorola and Verizon Wireless say features of the upcoming “Star Wars” themed version of the Droid 2 phone include an R2-D2 inspired design. Verizon said the R2-D2 Droid phone features a graphic design on the back of the phone featuring the “Star Wars” robot and comes pre-loaded with content, including notification sounds and ring tones of R2-D2’s famous robot language. Other pre-loaded features include “Star Wars” wallpapers, an R2-D2 clock widget and “The Best of R2-D2” video. The phone goes on sale today for $249, with an available $100 rebate for signing a two-year service agreement.

 

Police Dog Gets Laid Off

The financial situation is so bad in one western Pennsylvania city that even its police dog has been laid off. Jeannette City Council has voted to lay off nine workers of the city’s 47 workers effective October 5th. They include three of the city’s 12 police officers, including Officer Justin Scalzo, who handles the city’s drug-sniffing dog, Wando. The department is also losing its two meter maids and a secretary. Other layoffs involved trash collectors and public works employees. The city has a projected $440,000 budget shortfall.

 

Denver Firefighters Battle Flames, Fleeing Bedbugs

Denver firefighters ran into more than the normal hazards at a house fire. Crews responding to the blaze Wednesday also had to battle bedbugs. Lt. Phil Champagne of the Denver Fire Department said firefighters had to be decontaminated after going into an attic where items were infested with bedbugs. The bugs scurried away from the flames and latched on to firefighters’ equipment and gear. Some of the gear had to be bagged so the bugs wouldn’t get a free ride to the firehouse. There were no injuries, but the home was declared uninhabitable.

Couple Arrested For Sex At Good To Go

A couple was caught having sex outside a convenience store called Good To Go in Fort Meyers, Florida. George Pomfret, 49, and Brenda Prothero, 48, were arrested Sunday and charged with indecent exposure. Deputies said they found a naked Pomfret and half-naked Prothero having sex in plain view underneath a tree near the store. When a deputy told them to stop and get dressed, neither listened. Once the deputy announced who she was, the couple stopped and put on their clothes. The store manager told authorities the activity had gone on for more than an hour, within view of customers and their children.

Judge Hands Out Nutty Condoms

A district judge from Intercourse, Pennsylvania, hid condoms inside acorns and handed them out to women in the state Capitol complex last week. A summary charge of disorderly conduct was filed Tuesday against Isaac H. Stoltzfus, who presides over low-level cases as a district judge in Lancaster County. The citation from Capitol Police said the judge gave the acorns to unsuspecting women, who were offended when they discovered the contents.

Jailed For Christmas

A Montana judge running for the state Supreme Court has given a man accused of assaulting a woman a sentence with an unusual twist. District Court Judge Nels Swandal gave Daniel Martz a 10-year suspended sentence on Monday for a May 2009 attack in which Martz allegedly choked and hit a woman, and then tried to have her change her story. Swandal also ordered Martz to report to jail each December 15th through January 1st for the next five years. The judge said incarcerating Martz around the holidays will keep him out of trouble.

Courtroom Egg Thrower Sentenced

A suburban Chicago man who threw an egg at a judge in a courtroom has been sentenced to jail. Agim Demiri was sentenced Monday to 90 days behind bars. Demiri threw the egg on March 24th in a Wheaton courtroom. The raw egg missed the judge and hit a wall. The incident happened during a hearing over child support he owes his ex-wife and their two teenage children. He pleaded guilty last month to a felony charge of criminal damage to state supported property.

 

Man Loses Fight With Elmo

Police in Winter Park, Florida, said a man dressed as the “Sesame Street” character Elmo was physically attacked during a children’s event, but Elmo fought back. The Muppet-suited man, Jeramie Trespalacios, was performing Sunday at The Guitar Center when the attacker began throwing punches at him. Trespalacios, who was not injured, broke two of the attacker’s fingers, threw a few punches, and then tossed the man into a glass display case, head first. Officers were able to break up the fight before the kids saw what was going on. The attacker is undergoing a mental evaluation at a local hospital. Elmo was last seen headed down “Sesame Street.”

75 People Brawl At Tot’s Birthday

Elmwood Place, Ohio, police said it took officers from several agencies to bring a massive brawl at a tot’s birthday party under control early yesterday. Police said the 1 a.m. melee at Elmwood Eagles Hall resulted in five of the 75 people involved being hospitalized. About 30 children witnessed the brawl. None of the youngsters were injured. Punches and beer bottles were thrown after a dispute that began early Monday between a woman’s boyfriend and her ex-husband came to a head. Ramon Marcelo-Hernandez, the father of the 3-year-old birthday girl, was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct while intoxicated. Police said more arrests were expected.

Bedbug Lawsuit

In case you have noticed, we’re hearing an awful lot about bedbugs lately. Case in point: An Ellicott City, Maryland, couple has filed suit against their apartment complex’s owners for $500,000 for “significant emotional distress” resulting from one very wicked bedbug infestation. Orville Brown Jr. and Rebecca Brown say they and their toddler daughter were forced to move out of their apartment and throw out most of their belongings because the bedbug infestation was so severe. The lawsuit says the Browns were told that bedbugs had been found in an adjacent apartment and that their apartment would be treated as a precaution. They claim that treatment never occurred. All three suffered red, itchy welts and Rebecca is undergoing psychological therapy to deal with the trauma of the infestation.

Teen Takes Down Black Bear With Arrow

A 17-year-old Battle Creek, Michigan, girl began her big game hunting career by killing a 448-pound black bear with a bow and arrow from 16 yards away. High school senior Jessica Olmstead shot the bear during a hunting trip last month in Oba, Ontario. She said the bear was the first animal she’s killed with the new bow. Her father, Tim Olmstead, said his daughter eats the animals she hunts, including bear, and does not kill just for fun.

Bad Escape Plan

It’s not a good idea to go back to your drug stash if the cops are in hot pursuit of you. Deputies in Mendocino County, California, say three men spotted in a suspected stolen truck took off on foot and ran into a pot warehouse. Authorities seized 700 pounds of pot and arrested 19 people. The industrial building was full of drying plants and processed pot.

Man In Deep Doo Doo

A Fleetwood, Pennsylvania, man is recovering after being dumped into a 15-foot-deep manure pit. He was operating a skid loader that apparently tumbled over a chain-link fence. The equipment operator was rescued after about an hour. He climbed on top of the loader and waited for help. Authorities say the loader might have dumped him into the pit because of being too top heavy.

‘Where’s Waldo’ Arrest

The FBI arrested a man suspected of robbing an Oregon bank after the dummy posted a message on Facebook saying he did it. Ryan Homsley was busted last Friday and charged with robbing a Key Bank branch in suburban Tualatin, Oregon, on Tuesday. He’ll head to court after he’s released from the hospital. Homsley’s Facebook page said “I’m doing this to pay for my medical expenses… live for today!” His brother said Homsley has a serious drug problem and is a diabetic. He was dubbed the “Where’s Waldo” bandit, based on his appearance in surveillance photos.

Snack Wrapper Thieves

Here’s a story that takes the cake – snake cake. Wichita, Kansas, police say whoever stole a Little Debbie delivery truck left a trail of empty boxes and snack cake wrappers after abandoning the vehicle. The truck was taken around 4 a.m. yesterday morning from outside a Walmart store. The truck was driven into a shallow canal, but not before the thieves stole thousands of dollars worth of snacks, eating some of them and leaving a trail of wrappers. Police are still looking for the snack wrapper bandits.

Bart Simpson Kidnapped

A Bart Simpson statue has been stolen from outside a Massachusetts restaurant. The three-foot tall, 75-pound ceramic statue sitting on a park bench outside Leggos in Holbrook disappeared on September 19th. Owner Astrit Gorezi said the statue, which was chained down, was a popular topic of conversation with customers, and he wants it back. Gorezi bought the statue a few months ago for a few hundred bucks. Police are investigating, but so far have no suspects.

Runaway Poodle Delays Commuter Trains

A runaway poodle is to blame for a morning delay on some commuter trains in Oakland, California, last week. A Bay Area Rapid Transit agency spokesman said traffic heading in and out of the Lake Merritt station was halted for five to 10 minutes Thursday morning when the poodle pooch got out of a train, jumped onto the tracks and ran into a tunnel. The spokesman said the dog appeared to be traveling on its own. No passengers were spotted pursuing it. Transit police and BART station operators mounted an unsuccessful search for the pooch. It was last seen exiting the tracks above ground near West Oakland.

Horny Gator Tries To Make Love To Man

Even gators need a little love. Glenn Berger just wishes it wasn’t him. He says one of his worst days as the Golf Ball Man came when an amorous alligator climbed onto his back. Berger collects golf balls from the ponds on Florida courses. He says gators are one of the hazards of his profession. He said he scrambled out of a water trap, leaving the love-sick gator behind. The incident left Berger with a great story and about 4,000 golf balls. Some were worth only a few cents, but about 600 were Titleist Pro V1s and worth about $2 each, even though they were used.

Dumpster Diver Picked Up By Trash Truck

A suspected shoplifter in Alliance, Ohio, chose a pretty bad hiding spot – a dumpster. Police say they saw a man exiting through a side door of a Walmart with a shopping cart full of merchandise early Wednesday morning. The suspect, identified as James Brienzo, saw the cops and jumped into a dumpster to hide. When a garbage truck picked up the dumpster, Brienzo was inside. He called a friend for help using his cell phone. Meanwhile, police used the phone’s GPS system to track him and locate the garbage truck. Officers were unable to get him out of the dumpster, so the truck was taken to the Alliance Recycling Center and emptied there. Brienzo fell out of the truck with the garbage. “He was in a lot of pain,” according to one of the officers who witnessed the criminal dump. “He had been compacted several times. He was just begging us to empty the truck,” the officer added. Brienzo has been hospitalized and is in critical condition.

Man Allegedly Fathers 23 Kids

A Muskegon, Michigan, man who allegedly fathered 23 children with 14 women has been sent to prison for failing to pay child support. State prosecutors said Howard Veal owes more than $500,000. Kent County Circuit Judge Dennis Leiber said he was “stunned and amazed” by the case. The judge told Veal, “Animals procreate. Human beings are supposed to nurture their children.” Veal was sentenced to two-to-four years in prison last week, well above guidelines that called for six months in jail. The 44-year-old said he’s been out of work and pays what he can. He pleaded guilty in July to owing more than $60,000 to a woman in Grand Rapids. There are 14 child-support cases pending against Veal.

Man Gets 1 Million Dumplings For Karaoke Win

U.S. telephone engineer Edward Pimentel won 1 million dumplings for his performance at the World Karaoke Championships in Moscow. The Albuquerque resident won the dumplings for singing R&B standards, but he didn’t win the contest outright; he was named “audience favorite.” Assuming he can cram down 100 dumplings a day, every day, which is highly unlikely, Pimentel has enough to last him 27 years! Winners of the Karaoke World Championship are Sam Moudden in the men’s division and Maria Saarimaa-Ylitalo in the women’s division. Both are Finns.

Hearse Fans Happy In Hell

There weren’t enough hearses in Hell, Michigan, to set a world record for the largest procession of hearses, but participants had a blast anyway. The annual Just Hearse’N Around festival for hearse enthusiasts took place in Hell on Saturday with 43 of the vehicles taking part in the run from Hell to the Terrified Forest in Pinckney, Michigan. Organizers were hoping for 50 hearses, the minimum needed to set a new Guinness World Record. Rain was blamed for the smaller-than-hoped for turnout.

Parking Space Rage

Police in Athens, Georgia, said a man hit a father and his 3-year-old son with his car because they refused to move out of a parking space. Richard Junkins pulled up to the parking spot Sunday in a Ford Mustang and got into an argument with Ross Campbell, who was standing in the parking spot with his 3-year-old son. "Campbell refused to move and Junkins – after an exchange of words – continued pulling into the space," a police spokesman said. Campbell and his son were both struck by the vehicle, causing them to land on the hood of the car. The man and boy were not injured. Junkins was charged with two counts of aggravated assault and released after posting $22,020 bond.

Swiffer Swatter

A 71-year-old Spartanburg, South Carolina, man used a power Swiffer WetJet mop to chase off a masked intruder who ordered him to get down on the floor. Phillip Graham was cleaning the kitchen floor Wednesday night after he and his wife finished cutting each other’s hair. A man in a ski mask walked in the back door and appeared to be carrying a handgun. Graham said he used the WetJet like "a cattle prod" to chase the intruder from his property. Deputies said a K-9 dog traced the intruder’s scent to a nearby apartment complex. No suspect has been identified.

Woman Charged For Dropping Cat In Trash

British animal authorities said a woman who was videotaped throwing a cat into a trash bin was charged with two animal cruelty-related counts. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said Mary Bale, 45, of Coventry, England, was videotaped stroking Lola, a 4-year-old cat, before grabbing her by the neck and dropping her in a trash bin. The RSPCA said the cat spent about 15 hours in the trash bin but was not injured. Bale was charged with causing unnecessary suffering and not providing her with a suitable environment. Officials became aware of the incident after a video was posted online and went viral.

 

Free Building – With A Catch

A South Carolina city is giving away a 1930s-era office building for free, but there’s a catch. The buyer has to relocate the structure. The city of Columbia said the two-story, 3,784-square-foot building, which contains three office suites, needs to be moved to make room for parking. Officials would rather not see the structure demolished and hope they get a buyer soon so they can start work on the parking lot in May or June.

Darth Vader Robber

Police in Michigan say a would-be Darth Vader goofed when robbing a convenience store. Officers in Ferndale say suspect Jamie C. Hernandez put on his Darth Vader mask in range of a store surveillance camera. Hernandez was armed with a butcher knife and demanded all the cash in the register.

Typewriter Repairman

Al Stuckey admits he’s "absolutely a dinosaur" in his line of work, but that hasn’t stopped him from doing what he loves. Stuckey comes from an era when phones had cords and dials, and TV’s were black-and-white. Stuckey is a typewriter repairman in Indiana. He also works on other office equipment, like computer printers and fax machines, but says he still gets a couple of manual typewriters a year, usually from elderly customers.

 

90-Year-Old Bra Fitter

After decades of fitting bras, Earlene Moore knows everyone isn’t a 34B. The 90-year-old is still helping customers find the right fit at Saks Fifth Avenue in Austin, Texas. Moore doesn’t even need a tape measure. She says she sizes up her customers by “eyeballing” them. Moore says the biggest bra she’s ever fitted was a 44-DDD.

Man’s Stolen Guitar Shows Up On eBay 8 Years Later

Doug Duncan, owner of a vintage Gibson Les Paul Special guitar that was stolen eight years ago has found it after it surfaced on eBay. Duncan says he never gave up looking for his 1957 guitar after it was stolen in rural Minnesota. The 57-year-old signed up years ago to get e-mail notifications from eBay whenever similar guitars went on sale. He was sent an e-mail last month saying a similar guitar had been listed by a seller in Mill Valley, California. Duncan realized from the serial number that it was his guitar. Even the duct tape he’d put on the case was still there. Investigators reached the seller, who was a collector and had no idea it was stolen.

Mascot Mayhem

You’ve likely heard about the mascot fight between the Bobcat and the Buckeye, but there’s more to the story. Brandon Hanning, formerly known as Ohio University’s Rufus Bobcat, said “It was actually my whole plan to tackle Brutus when I tried out to be mascot. I tried out about a year ago, and the whole reason I tried out was so I could come up here to Ohio State and tackle Brutus.” And that’s exactly what he did Saturday, wrestling Brutus to the ground in front of 105,075 college football fans at Ohio Stadium. Ohio State got even in the end, trampling the Bobcats 43-7.

Georgia Man Wants To Be A Saint

Shelby Marwan Heggs of Macon, Georgia, admits he’s sinned many times, but he hopes his past won’t keep a judge from allowing him to change his name to Saint Jody Almighty Bedrock. Heggs, who is facing an aggravated battery charge next month, said he’s rededicated his life to God and wants the world to know. He figures changing his name to Saint Jody is a good way to do it. The Bibb County District Attorney’s Office is opposing Heggs’ request on grounds he may be using it to try to hide his criminal record. A name change can be denied on that basis. However, Heggs said he isn’t trying to hide from anyone. Meanwhile, the aggravated battery charge stems from a fight with his neighbor.

Please Do Not Pee On The Police Station

Authorities in Royal Oak, Michigan said a man urinated on the side of the police station and then went inside to file a police report on an undisclosed matter. Witnesses informed officers of the incident and he was issued a citation. It’s doubtful he’ll serve any jail time, but he will likely face court costs and a $250 fine.

Eye Worm Removed With Laser

Doctors in Iowa rushed a Cedar Rapids man into surgery after they found a worm had taken up residence in his eye. John Matthews said he sought medical help after he noticed two spots obscuring his vision in his left eye. He was sent to the ophthalmology department at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, where doctors found the worm and removed it with two rounds of laser blasts. Doctors think he got the worm either when he was in Mexico or while turkey hunting. An Animal Planet crew filmed the incident after Matthews called them and told them what was going on.

Library Gets Book Back After 35 Years

Minnesota Librarians at the Winona Public Library couldn’t believe it when a book that had been checked out 35 years ago was returned. “Small Voices: A Grownup’s Treasury of Selections from the Diaries, Journals and Notebooks of Young Children” is a collection of journal entries that public figures had written as children. Someone left it in the library’s drop-box as part of the Amnesty Week for overdue books. Records suggest it was checked out in the early 1970s. But because the circulation system has since changed, it’s not clear who last checked it out. The fine would have been more than $1,400.

Man Nabbed For DUI Steals Squad Car

A Greeley, Colorado, man was arrested twice for DUI on Thursday – once while driving his own car and a second time for stealing the police car he was in while waiting to be taken to jail. Adam Segura was handcuffed and placed inside a police car after a DUI arrest. He managed to slip off the cuffs and take off in the car while police officers interviewed a witness outside. Officers chased him for about a mile before he was caught.

Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut Takes Burrito-Eating Crown

Competitive eater Joey “Jaws” Chestnut is king of the burrito. Chestnut downed 47 burritos in 10 minutes at the New Mexico State Fair in Albuquerque on Saturday, beating the previous record of 33 1/2. Chestnut won $1,500 for the feat.

Man Says Funny Money Was Protest

A St. Lucie, Florida, man said the fake $20 bills officials found in his house were for a music video he was making to protest Andrew Jackson’s image on the real bills. But the judge didn’t buy it and sentenced Ronald Jensen to 18 months in prison, followed by five years of probation. Jensen will get credit for the 406 days he’s already spent behind bars. Detectives who raided Jensen’s apartment in June 2009 found a total of $1,680 in counterfeit bills, including burnt $20 bills in the toilet. Jensen, who said he is of Cherokee descent, was making a video to show the bill bearing Jackson’s portrait being burned and flushed to protest his signing of the Indian Removal Act in 1830. The law allowed the government to remove Cherokees and other Indian tribes from the southeastern U.S. to Oklahoma on what became known as the “Trail of Tears.”

Nastiest Bowl Of Cereal EVER

A Georgia man is suing a grocery store chain and cereal company, claiming he found a used tampon in his cereal bowl after he began eating. Thomas and Lynn Roddenberry said they bought a box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal from the Save-A-Lot store in Thomaston, Georgia, in October 2008. Roddenberry found the used feminine hygiene product while eating a bowl of cereal the next day. Roddenberry said he became nauseated and went to the emergency room. Thomas claims he sustained physical injuries “from the adulterated food.” Thomas and his wife are seeking unspecified damages and court costs.

Baltimore Toilet Race

The winner of a race using a vehicle made out of a toilet in Baltimore last weekend was flush over the victory. Saturday’s Hampdenfest Toilet Races were easily the No. 1 attraction at the neighborhood’s festival. Most entries – with names like Porcelain Pirate and Toilet Trainer – were crafted from ordinary toilets, but everything from port-a-potties to bedpans and diapers qualified, as long as it included a “human defecation device,” said Steve Baker, a metal artist who thought up the event. The winner was Golden Throne, which was built around a 1970s toilet.

A Fish Story

A fishing trip brought a South Carolina man an unexpected 40th birthday present – a fish with “teeth like a human.” Frank Yarborough caught the pacu in Lake Wylie. The pacu is an exotic South American species related to the piranha. “It’s definitely the strangest thing I ever caught,” Yarborough said. “We had all kinds of people looking at it and taking pictures of it,” Yarborough said. South Carolina state biologists said the fish weighed 4.98 pounds and was 19.5 inches long. “That’s the biggest one we’ve seen out of Lake Wylie,” said Wes Stewart of the Department of Environment and Natural Resources. Biologists want to take a sample of the fish’s brain to find out how old it is and how it got so big.

Burglary Suspect Falls Into Cops’ Hands

California police found a burglar they were hunting when he literally fell through a ceiling and into their arms. Jose Parada, 23, was jailed on suspicion of burglary Saturday after he allegedly broke into three businesses in Pico Rivera. Parada was hiding in the attic of one of the buildings as deputies searched it. Officers heard a noise in the attic and ordered him to come out. After they sprayed pepper spray into the attic, Parada fell through the ceiling and into the arms of a cop.

Busker Rage

A Madison, Wisconsin, street musician responded to criticism of his guitar playing by hitting one complainer on the head with his instrument. Police said he then tackled the man, threw another man into a wall and wrestled with an officer before a stun gun brought him down. Brandin Hochstrasser, better known as “Bongo Jesus,” was charged with battery, battery to a police officer, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

How Hot Is It?

It’s sooooo hot outside that a Hardin County, Kentucky, farmer said some ears among his feed corn rows popped on the stalk in what ag experts believe is associated with irregular rainfall and high heat. Star Mills farmer Patrick Preston sent a photo of the burst kennels that look like partially popped popcorn to the University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service. Hardin County Extension agent Doug Shepherd said he’s never seen anything quite like it.

‘Low Pants, No Chance’

A Baton Rouge Metro Council member wants the parish to support a public awareness campaign against men who wear their pants so low that their boxer shorts show. Councilwoman C. Denise Marcelle wants to call the campaign “Low pants, no chance.” Her resolution will be on the agenda for tonight’s discussion.

 

Couple Breaks Into Home To ‘Make Out’

A Florida couple, arrested for allegedly breaking into a home, told officers they were looking for a place to “make out.” A spokeswoman for the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said a neighbor of the vacant Key Largo home called 911 Sunday night to report two people breaking into the house. Deputies arrived to find a broken window, an unlocked door, and Adrian Alonso and Iliu Gonzalez lying on the floor. The couple told police they broke in to “make out.” They were arrested and charged with criminal mischief.

Man Arrested After Climbing San Francisco Tower

San Francisco police arrested veteran skyscraper climber Dan Goodwin, who scaled the exterior of a 58-story downtown skyscraper and unfurled an American flag at the top. Goodwin used suction cups but no ropes to scale Millennium Tower, a 645-foot residential building overlooking San Francisco Bay. Police say Goodwin was too high to reach by the time firefighters got to the building. Goodwin reached the top just before 5:30 p.m. on Monday, about three hours after he began. He affixed an American flag to the building before surrendering to waiting authorities.

‘Drying My Car’ Excuse Doesn’t Hold Water

Police in Naperville, Illinois, said a man pulled over for speeding told an officer he was trying to dry off his car after getting it washed. Naperville police said Lucas Wright, 24, was pulled over last Wednesday after an officer clocked him driving 100 mph in a 50 mph zone. Police Sgt. Lee Martin said Wright told him “he’d just gotten his car washed and he was trying to dry it off.” Wright was charged with a misdemeanor count of speeding 40 mph or more over the posted limit. The car, which was still wet from its recent washing, was towed and temporarily impounded.

Bobcat Causes 5-Acre Fire

A bobcat climbing a power pole was electrocuted and sparked a five-acre brush fire in California’s Ventura County. Officials said the bobcat was apparently chasing a bird when it touched the power lines, caught fire and fell to the ground in flames near Piru. The fire was reported at 3:36 a.m. Monday atop Torrey Peak. More than 40 firefighters extinguished the blaze about five hours later. No homes were threatened and no one was hurt. The bobcat’s charred body was found beneath the power lines.

Flushed Ring

A cat is blamed for a missing $40,000 diamond engagement ring. Newlyweds Diane and Carl Buckalew left their rings in the bathroom. Diane says she felt sick when she realized their cat, Jinxe, batted the rings into the toilet. Carl called Mr. Rooter, which has a drain camera. Technicians dug a 3-foot hole near the front door of the couple’s Southaven, Mississippi, home and asked Carl to flush. Both rings were found. The job cost nearly $900, but the couple says they were glad to pay.

College Offers Zombie Course

A University of Baltimore professor is basing his English 333 curriculum around zombies. Arnold Blumberg said his class will involve screening 16 zombie film classics, zombie comic books as required reading, and the option for students to write a screenplay or draw storyboards for their ideal zombie movie as final projects. “Zombies are one of the most potent, direct reflections of what we’re thinking moment to moment in our culture,” Blumberg said.

Man Survives Suicide Leap From 400 Feet

A New York man miraculously is still alive – although badly injured – after making a 39-story leap from a Manhattan high rise. Thomas Magill, 22, underwent surgery for two broken legs Tuesday night after he landed on the roof of a Dodge parked on the street below. The jump was an apparent suicide attempt. Witnesses said Magill was upset about his injured legs after he landed on the vehicle, the impact sending his sneakers flying off his feet. Guy McCormack, a construction worker from New Jersey and the owner of the vehicle, found rosary beads at the wreckage that belonged to Magill. McCormack said he believed the beads are what saved Magill Jr.’s life.

Ding Dong Burglar Leaves Cell Phone Behind

Police investigating a home burglary in Russellville, Alabama, found a cell phone that got left behind. Officials said the phone was left near where a computer was taken in the weekend burglary. Investigators began calling some of the phone numbers and determined the phone belonged to a 19-year-old who was on probation for a previous burglary. Police also got surveillance video from a Walmart in that shows the suspect cashing in coins believed to have been taken during the burglary. District Attorney Joey Rushing, “It helps when you’ve got stupid criminals.” The cell phone’s owner, Tyler Blake Garrison, was charged with burglary.

Dump Truck Chase

Police in Syracuse, New York, said a 37-year-old man driving a dump truck led them on an hour-long chase over roads, rails and yards that ended with the suspect being shot. Officials said Lostumbo jumped into a dump truck Tuesday night after being accused of stealing from vending machines at a mall. Police pursued the truck on a highway, through backyards and school grounds and down railroad tracks at speeds up to 65 mph before stopping it at a barricade. Lostumbo reversed the truck and hit a sheriff’s vehicle and officers fired, apparently striking Lostumbo in the shoulder. He was briefly hospitalized for minor injuries.

Drunken Courier Loses $1.3 Million Painting

The owner of Jean Baptiste Camille Corot’s “Portrait of a Girl” is suing a courier after the man lost the painting during an alleged drunken night in New York. Kristyn Trudgeon, the majority owner of the 19th century painting, said art courier James Carl Haggerty told co-owner Tom Doyle he lost the $1.3 million artwork July 28th while showing it to a prospective buyer at The Mark Hotel. Haggerty blamed his level of intoxication for his inability to remember what became of the painting. The lawsuit, which claims an August 9th polygraph test found indications of “deception” on the part of Haggerty, is seeking the estimated worth of the painting.

Bus Thief Arrested For 27th Time

A New York man with a history of impersonating transit workers and joyriding in subway trains allegedly stole a bus in New Jersey. Investigators said Darius McCollum, who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and has extensive knowledge of Metropolitan Transportation Authority procedures, entered an unsecured bus depot in Hoboken early Tuesday and stole a Trailways coach that had been parked with the keys still inside. Police tracked the bus using its GPS and pulled it over at 9 a.m. in New York. A police report said the suspect acted “like a gentleman” toward officers. McCollum was charged with grand larceny and possession of stolen property. He has previously been arrested 27 times during the past three decades, often for stealing subway trains.

 

Model T’s Trip Home

A 1925 Model T is heading home. The classic car is being transported to Ford’s world headquarters in Dearborn, Michigan, for a picture with company CEO Alan Mulally. The Model T was owned by Phillip and Helen Nicholoff, Lansing natives who now live in an area retirement center. They gave the car to their son, Kris, about 10 years ago. The Model T isn’t being driven to Dearborn. It’s being carried on a flatbed truck. The Nicholoffs bought the Model T in 1950.